2020 Summer Olympics to be Held in Riyadh

The International Olympic Committee convened Monday to confirm a majority vote for Riyadh, Saudi Arabia as the host city for the 2020 Summer Olympic Games. The contentious process was finalized by IOC committee chair, Jacques Rogge, who, after fourteen hours of intense and sometimes fractious negotiations amongst a host of high-level IOC officials, declared that Riyadh will "Serve as the next jewel in the crown of Olympics host cities from the past, present, and future."

Although considered a political ally of the U.S., the government of Saudi Arabia has received international scorn for its record of severe human rights abuses aimed at its own citizens. However, IOC official Benigno Mastriani appeared unfazed. "This is just the media hyperbolizing over a few isolated incidents within a country that is otherwise largely progressive and consmopolitan." He then added, "And don't act like you've never wanted to order for someone's left testicle to be chopped off." When he was reminded that such draconian acts occur in Riyadh as penalty for seemingly trivial infractions - such as coughing too loudly in a theater - Mastriani responded with, "And...your point is?"

Not all IOC officials were as sanguine, however. IOC sub-committee chair Pete Babcock was among the dissenters. "It really is a shame," complained Babcock, "that this is what it's come to. Part of the history and custom of choosing Olympic venues is to account for the prospective host city's people, cultures and attractions. Obviously, we've lost our way when the next two host cities are Baltimore and Riyadh. I mean, would it kill us to award one tiny, little Olympic Games to, say, Rio? Or how about Miami?" He later added, "In Riyadh, all the women are completely shrouded; in Baltimore, you'd want them to be. Quite, frankly, I think this stinks."

Three host cities that are currently under consideration for the 2024 Summer Olympics are Mogadishu, Somalia; Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia; and Detroit.

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