Unity was on full display Monday at the Democratic National Convention, as the party's powerful and faithful flocked to Denver's Pepsi Center with high hopes for a Barack Obama victory in November.
And as Michelle Obama's spellbinding speech seemingly eroded party disarray, good feelings abounded, leading to a long night of exuberant celebration among party loyalists. Many of the parties extended throughout the night; but, in the early hours of Tuesday morning, party solidarity quickly gave way to nascent symptoms of gonorrhea, chlamydia, and herpes.
Amy Halston, an Obama delegate from Roanoke, Virginia, learned about her probable exposure to gonorrhea Monday afternoon, following an encounter with a Clinton delegate from Ohio. "We met at Blue Ice the night before the convention, and by Monday afternoon, I had intense burning, festering pustules, and some pretty gnarly discharge." Halston later added, "But hey, if he's going to give us his delegates like he said he would, I'm willing to take one for the team. Oh-bah-muh! Oh-bah-muh!"
Todd Gilmore, a 26-year-old congressional aide, refused to become dispirited by his early stages of chlamydia. "After listening to her (Michelle Obama) speech, I can't tell you how much hope and faith I'm filled with now. It almost makes the extreme burning sensation in my penis seem somehow irrelevant."
Said Democratic National Committee Chairman, Howard Dean, "That these things (sexually transmitted diseases) have spread with such speed speaks volumes about the profound emotional impact that this truly special event has already had on our base." Dean, also a licensed physician, added, "With that said, we're going to get a Merk kiosk in here ASAP. The incubation period, expecially for the clap, is not to be taken lightly."
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