Sexy Leper, Creepy Uncle Rated Top Halloween Costumes for '08

Seemingly endless lines of restive customers - some waiting as long as three hours - snaked out the doors of local big-box, novelty and party supply stores Saturday in hopes of purchasing this year's most popular Halloween costumes and accessories. Despite the country's current economic woes, Americans seem more passionate than ever about this year's Halloween disguises. 

"We've been waiting for almost two hours now," said Linda Blankenship, standing beside her two ten-year-old twins, Mina and Gina, outside the entrance of Party City in Sherman Oaks. "But it'll all be worth it if we can manage to snatch up a couple of those new Sexy Anti-Semite costumes all the kids are into this year." 

Indeed, parents are the the biggest spenders for the spooky October holiday as they seek to appease their ever-fickle children clamoring for the newest, edgiest, hippest costume available. Added Blankenship, "God knows why, but that's what the kids want want." 

And this year, most kids want sexy. 

Said Bobbi DeJean, an acting coach and mother of three from Burbank, "We just hit up our third Party City today, and everyone's out of the Sexy DMV Worker. You'd think these costume companies would anticipate supply a bit better than that; everyone knew it was going to be the hottest thing around, and yet, it's impossible to find one anywhere. I mean, what's my little girl supposed to go as now, Strawberry fucking Shortcake?"

Sadie and Donald Mitchell, on a last-minute shopping excursion to Halloween House with their two daughters, were flummoxed by the exorbitant prices of the most popular costumes. "I know we need to account for inflation," said Mr. Mitchell, "but fifty bucks for a Sexy Online Blogger costume? All it is is a fake plastic laptop, a blonde wig, a push-up bra, and false hope that anyone's going to give a crap. I mean, come on!"

Other top-selling costumes this year include the Sexy Leper, Sexy Hedge, and the always popular Creepy Uncle.

"I'll tell ya," said Vincent Sabatino, co-owner of Halloween World in Glendale, "Fads come and go, but year in, year out, people always wanna' be the creepy uncle , at least for one night." He then squeezed the collar of the costume's Members Only jacket, which emits any one of three pre-recorded messages.

"Do you like Twix or Snickers? I prefer Twix myself," says the first message, followed by awkward, forced laughter. "So what are you kids listening to these days?" says the second. And upon a third squeeze of the jacket's collar, the message says, "I know: Let's have a sleep-over!" 

This year, nothing seems to be off-limits, as some of the more popular costumes border on the irreverent. 

"I'm Naughty Lincoln, muttered William Sandoval Jr., standing at the entrance of a Glendale, CA Halloween Warehouse. Sandoval, sporting a black tuxedo, chin curtain, top hat, a pair of leather chaps, and a gag ball, cavorted with his cousin Ronnie Ortiz, who flaunted a brand-new Gay Pride Ghandi costume.  

As is the case every year, the top costumes for 2008 also offer a glimpse into the country's cultural and political landscape. "I'm gonna go as Delusional Xenophobic Working-Class Swing-Voter, said seven-year-old Timmy Dreyer, displaying the plastic pitchfork, rope noose, Holy Bible, and Don't Vote for the Towelhead! lawn sign that are packaged along with the costume's flannel shirt, overalls and unemployment check. 

Engaged to be married in less than a month, Greg Bishop and Gayle Sanders could hardly wait to try on their topical Sanctity of Marriage costumes; and they did so right in the middle of Santa Clarita's Costume Warehouse moments after purchase. "Oh cool - look!" said Bishop, diving into his newly-opened package. "It comes with a pass to an underground gay hook-up joint!" Responded Sanders, "Really? Mine comes with a bottle of sleeping pills and a set of divorce papers - how awesome is that?"  

Comments

[katie]

Let's do Halloween in Sanctity of Marriage costumes!!!!

[Barbara Halpern]

Terrific-worth waiting for. I have a "creepy uncle" or had. Almost shot my Mother's very tiny dog one Thanksgiving with the gun we didn't know he had strapped to his leg. Such a putz. Not even sure if he still lives!!! Many costumes are sexy. My yoga teacher's kid got a "Goldilocks costume" and had to add an apron because her daughter felt like a "hooker Goldilocks." Lovely! Pictures are great, Katie.